Victory!

Final Score. Screw: 0, Jamie: 1

It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Why, you ask? It's because my back and arms hurt so bad I cannot stay asleep. And why do my back and arms hurt so much? Well, that is an interesting story, one filled with opposition, and determination, and it's a glorious tale of the relentlessness of the human spirit!

I am still painting down at the house. I think I'll be painting forever. Yesterday I pulled some doors off their hinges, painted them, changed the hinges, and did some of my 2nd "official" job, which is sanding walls in the walk-in closet upstairs. I also decided to paint the closet in the second guest bedroom, so the whole room would be complete. That would make TWO rooms that are done being painted! So I cleaned everything out of the closet, wiped it down, relocated a rather stubborn daddy-long-legs to the other side of the room, and was about to begin when I noticed I hadn't taken the rusty old track down from the sliding closet doors that used to be there. It ran overhead from one end of the opening to the other. So I got a philips screwdriver, and working my way left to right removing the screws holding it in place. I was at the very last one, already anticipating beginning to paint when I realized it wouldn't budge. It was super rusty, and up and in the corner, so the angle was a little odd for me, but I tried again. It held tight. Damn screw! Usually one of the guys would step in and get it for me, but they were working elsewhere, so I was on my own. And of course it had to be the last one that wouldn't come out! What a jerk! I tried again. Nothing gave. I tried about 18 more times, really pushing my weight (and back and arms) up into it, and twisting the screwdriver as hard as I could. And still the screw didn't even have the decency to give me a little wiggle, or a half turn! Son of a....(insert word here)! I think I may have called it that more than once.

Anyway, around the 20th attempt, is when it got personal. It was no longer about painting the closet, it was about me and what I am capable of, it was a test of will for the sake of all humanity! Am I the kind of person that gets beat by a ornery piece of hardware? Am I going to to let some little scrap of metal dictate my day? Can a rusty screw tame the human spirit? NO! NO! and NO! That's when I decided that I was going to get that screw out come hell or high water, and I simply was not going to give up until it lay defeated in the palm of my hand. As the ladybugs were my witness, and even if it took all day, I would get that last screw out, and I would do it by myself!!! (Imagine triumphant, inspiring music HERE.) It was a screw in a wall, and I am a human being with a highly evolved brain! Surely if I set my millions of neurons  and a dash stubborn pride to the task I would come out on top. If not I would die trying and earn a hero's death.

Anyway, long story short, after several pauses because my arms, back, and hands were aching from exertion, a lot of swearing, and after trying out every Phillips screwdriver I could find in the house, I FINALLY got that bastard out! Woohoo! He fought me the whole way too. I'd give you the whole play-by-play but I don't think you could handle the excitement. It took me, oh, about 35 minutes, but I did it! I conquered! And I won! Well...sort of, which is getting us back to where I started. I AM up at 4:40 in the morning because my back and arms are so sore from my (dare I say?) herculean effort yesterday. So maybe there were a few casualties. But I don't know. I still feel at least a little satisfaction.

In case you feel that I am over-dramatizing this event, I'll have you know I am not. This is very exciting stuff when you have spent the last month painting. These kinds of man-versus-fasteners moments stand out as highlights amid the endless gallons of paint, and rollers and paint brushes. And I for one feel like a champion.